Thursday, 4 August 2016

Eric and Brian: Table Manners

Eric: Jesus man, elbows off the table. Show a little class.
Brian: What? Uhh sorry, didn't realize that was a big deal to you.
Eric: Well it is alright? What if I have my mother over, and she sees you eating like a filthy animal?
Brian: ...You mean if you bring your mom to our dorm for dinner?
Eric: Hey you don't know me. Maybe I will. Maybe I'll invite my mom,  and your mom, and my mailman, and we'll all have a big "Fuck You Brian" party.
Brian: Yeah, alright.
Eric: *mmff* So- *chhh* How was work?
Brian: Oh god eww, don't talk with your mouth full.
Eric: *chhhrnnn* Well excuse me for trying to- *ppffllmmm* get to know you better. *shhmmmff*
Brian: Fuck that's gross, I don't need to see that.
Eric: Yeah well I don't need a lot of things. Like health insurance, toothbrushes, or this dumb conversation.
Brian: You don't brush your teeth?
Eric: Of course I do, dumbass. I just use whichever one is lying around.
Brian: Like the red one, in the cabinet behind the sink?
Eric: Yeah that sounds about right.
Brian: FUCK Eric, you used my toothbrush?! Oh god that's disgusting, I've gotta go chug some mouthwash-
Eric: Relax Brian, I only brush my teeth on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The rest of the week is leg day.
Brian: What... The hell... Does that mean?
Eric: You know, 'never skip leg day!' Gotta keep them clean.
Brian: That's not what that- Wait, you scrubbed your legs with my fucking toothbrush?!
Eric: Elbows off the table Brian, lets try to be civil.

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