Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Daily Dose of Stupid: Fire Drills

Now don't get me wrong, fires are bad. I'm sure most people would agree that being trapped inside a burning building would be just no fun. I would not join the "stop drop and roll" fan club, and I do not spend my Saturday nights gasping for air as my lungs fill with deadly smoke (anymore). Being consumed by a hellish blaze of death and destruction is simply not on my bucket list.

That being said, aren't fire drills almost as frustrating?

Imagine a place where you are completely at peace. Inhale, and imagine a healing white light moving through you. Exhale, and let all your problems release out of your being. Hear the soothing melodies of your inner thoughts and simply relax. You are safe. You are in control. Now I want you to-EUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You jolt out of your seat as an explosion of sound bursts out from the hallways. An endless monotone howl rings through your ears as you scramble to get your senses back. All around you, people are grabbing priceless belongings and rushing out of the room. You realize that you have to move, now. This is it.

You dart out into the hall and are quickly pushed into the herd. Like a package on a conveyor belt, you are pulled closer and closer to the blaring siren. The ear-splitting booming gets louder and louder until finally you make it past. The alarm is quiet but it still leaves a piercing ringing in your ears. Now you are completely surrounded by other escapees from this simulated tinderbox. Cramped tightly into such a confined space, you desperately try not to bump into anyone. The very air itself feels cramped and fleeting with each breath.

Finally, after four grueling and vertigo-inducing flights of stairs, you reach your destination. The gurgling mass of bodies has digested you and spits you out. Just a few feet away, the front door leads to outside. A shining white light glistens through them, promising freedom and safety outside. Your heart leaps. You're almost there. Imagine walking out that door and running into the wide open spaces. Feel the wind in your hair and the sun on your face as you escape from the claustrophobic nightmare behind you. Soon, you will be an eagle soaring freely through the skies, going wherever your heart takes you.

 As you reach the front doors, and step out into your brand you life. it hits you. It's cold. It's freezing cold. You probably should've thought to bring a sweater.

Fire drills? Pretty stupid.

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